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I love Dallas. The people there are so friendly-- John F. Kennedy --
Man who walk through a door sideways going to bang-cock-- Confucius --
A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it rains.-- Robert Frost --
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.-- Clarence Darrow --
When I was younger my family would go to the park and one of my favorite activities was swinging on the swingset. But when I got to high school I realized that all of the cool kids were going over to the drug dealer's house.-- Chelsea Peretti --
People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile.-- Lee Mildon --
A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.-- Charles Gordy --
If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.-- --
I'm a gambler, a farmboy, and I'm here to take command of your bloody army!-- Robert Jordan --
In wars, boy, fools kill other fools for foolish causes.-- Robert Jordan --
I'm not crazy; I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.-- Unknown --
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.-- Woody Allen --
Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're going to get.-- Forest Gump --
God this play's awful. Someone, please shoot me.-- Abraham Lincoln --
A perfumed butthole is still a butthole-- Confucius --
